To be or not to be - A Mommy and Daddy

When a couple get married in India , the next question from everybody is "When are you going to have a baby?" Really because well according to many thats the next duty to complete!!! Awesome amount of pressure on the couple before they can even begin to know each other as a husband and wife ( oh yeah thats a lot different from lovers or fiance). Well I know because San and I decide to give ourselves time to enjoy each other in every respect before moving to the next phase.

We really freaked out in our "DINKS" days but by the time we finished 4 years of marriage we had everybody breathing down our necks with a well meant " Start trying"!!!. 2 hilarious(now, not then) incidents ...one a neighbour aunty putting her head thru our car window and saying with so much sadness - " What not pregnant yet" @#&!@#Two, a very old 70+ man ( some acquaintance) meeting us for the first time said in front of the whole family "4 years no baby, better go see a doc immdtly". Oh man I was really psyched.

However it is a good idea to ignore the pressure and take it easy for atleast 4 years after marriage. Learn about each other and enjoy that period for it will never come back. Take short vacations often and try to explore different places together. Dont take risks on contraception. Remember the safe period is never safe.

The right time for a woman to have her first baby as everyone knows is around 26 - 29 yrs depending on when you get married and how much time you want for yourselves before you think of a baby. Having said that, being mentally prepared for a baby is equally or much more important than being physically prepared. And it applies both for the man and the woman.

We had our son when I was 27 and yeah we were ready.









We had our daughter when I was 29 and she was a total surprise!!.

Were we ready? Oh no...No way...by the time my son had his first birthday I was 3 months pregnant...Whoa its been a roller coaster ever since although the ups and downs have kind of flattend off with them growing up. The initial 2 years were very tough on both of us but looking back we are really proud and did enjoy the little bundles of joy thoroughly!!!

If you are wondering should you or shouldn't here is some encouragement
http://www.babble.com/content/articles/columns/the-babble-list/45-Reasons-To-Have-A-Baby-Right-Now-Cold-Feet-A-Few-Good-Reasons-To-Dive-Right-In/index.aspx

And if you are thinking of the changes that your life will take have a look at this
http://www.babycenter.com/0_thirty-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc

Well hope you have decided to take the plunge ( no pun intended!!!)


Cheers
Deepa

Childbirth Education - What and Why

About 6 years back when I took these classes for my first pregnancy it was mostly some stretching and breathing exercises and some information about what happens during labor. However today it is very different and very valuable because it is more on

• Knowing the natural changes happening in the body and how to cope with the challenges that come different stages of pregnancy
• what to expect during labor and how the labor support person can be of tremendous support & motivation to the mother-to be
• Knowing the different positions that can be adopted during labor
• Knowledge of diferent pain relief methods and the pros and cons of each and how to make decisions
• Different kinds of medical interventions, why they may be needed and what to do when faced with those
• Communicating with the heath care provider and hospital staff
• Breastfeeding - Learning the right way to breast feed and knowing what to expect during the intial few weeks
• Postpartum care - Baby and mother
• Relationship between the couple and the need for constant support for the mother and also time spent together

Equiped with the above information a couple and more importantly the woman will be empowered and thereby have confidence and be in control of the situations that she would face. This will pave way for her birth experience ,whether normal or surgical, to be a positive and fulfilling experience that she will remember forever.

A new journey most satisfying

I was at that juncture of my life where my kids were growing up and at school the whole day which gave me the much needed time to re-start my career. After having worked as an HR professional for close to 5 years and then taken a 6.5 yr break I did not want to get back into the corporate race and I desperately wanted to be my own boss and started rattling out business ideas and mailing them to myself. At this point Santhosh, my hubby gave me this book and told me that I would get some clarity on reading it. “ The Monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma (www.robinsharma.com) which is about 6 years old but wow the book showed me the path on how I could figure out what I wanted to do in life and how to move ahead towards achieving it. The book came with an audio CD and we played it in our car and at home. Try it, for it brings about profound change.

I was sitting at my doctor’s clinic ( my mentor now ) and was contemplating on what career would give me complete joy and satisfaction. Then in a flash I knew it!!!! I wanted to be the link between pregnant women and the doctor and hospital. I wanted to be a positive influence and empower women and bring about change for women or infact for couples having a baby. I wanted to make that experience as a beautiful and joyous occasion than a scared and out of control one.

Both my pregnancies were quite difficult because of excessive vomiting (ugggh) but my birth experiences were beautiful because my doctor (Dr. Mallika Samuel, Apollo First Med) was very accommodating and treated me with kindness and compassion. My husband was allowed to be with me the whole time and was almost a part of the birthing team !!! Having him with me gave me tremendous confidence and strength to handle the pain and so much during and after the birth.

Ever since then Birth fascinates me and I feel each birth is a miracle even if it the most natural thing happening to mankind. So with my doctor as a mentor and some intensive research on the internet I am on my way to becoming a CERTIFIED CHILDBIRTH EDUCATOR. I am training with an organization called Childbirth International http://www.childbirthinternational.com/ and will soon head towards certification. In due course I also want to be a labor coach where I can be of support to woman during labor. My long term goal is to open a birthing center where women rather than being patients will be given a very natural and conducive atmosphere to give birth with minimum medical interventions. It will be a place for a couple to have a baby in a beautiful and peaceful manner with doctors who advocate natural birth.

My next post will be on what is - Childbirth Education and why we need it
Tchao